This is not an essay either.  It’s a list.
In a way you didn’t eactly write an essay.  You wrote a research paper.
Unfortunately this means I have no idea what you can do on your own.
In the end it is disorganized in the introduction.  Americans do not state their opinions or positions.  They make a claim in the last sentence of the introduction a thesis that may or may not include 3 reasons why something is true.